Happy birthday! Oh, to nuzzle your jungle face pubes while watching an episode of Saved by the Bell. I’d even let The Machine watch.
I like where your head is at, Serg.
Happy birthday! We hope your day is filled with piano playing and Skyping with Brian Wilson. Please let us know if you need any company out in Cleveland.
Boy did I miss you. Even though you look like Stefon’s sidekick, I’d still rub up on you at New York’s hottest new club. The one with the Teddy Graham people.
And we’re back! As giddy as the bearded nugget of energy that is Sergio Romo.
We also apologize for the utter lack of posts during the post-season. We were absolutely overwhelmed and preferred to enjoy being in the moment. GO GIANTS.
Photo credit: Lance Iversen/The Chron
| — | Schulman (Source: sfgate.com) |
“And then I scored and I was all ‘Hercules, Hercules!’”
You look like a sexy gay Venezuelan hover-robot.
Dear Crush Puppy,
Thank you for being perfect in every way. You are magic inside.
Love,
Hummmm Baby
Credit to JWTP for “Crush Puppy”.
Sometimes you look like a shaved Zack Galifianakis. So fresh-faced and princely.
You are finer than a Disney prince.
You even look amazing while farting on the mound.
Mark McGrath called and he wants his shirt back. You wear it so much better, though. Statues crumble for you. All around the world.
Fined for having too much awesome on his feet.
Bros, this is why I stopped Twittering about linen pants and white mocha fraps.
Pauly D ain’t got shit. Slam a Red Bull and get over it.
